Resources
Woman Abuse: Effects on Children
A child depends upon adults for physical survival, emotional warmth, and protection from external and internal threats. Abuse in a home creates an atmosphere of fear and pain, and puts a child's growth and emotional well-being at risk. When a woman is abused by her partner, children learn to equate love with pain, force with problem solving, and submission with peace-keeping.
Direct abuse of children by a violent man
- Children may be injured trying to protect their mother or their brothers or sisters. Physical abuse causing pain or injury to the child is often excused as discipline or deserved punishment
- Verbal abuse includes yelling and shouting, calling children names, telling them they are no good, using threats, and degrading sexist words and comments.
- Sexual abuse is any behaviour that forces, tricks, threatens or coerces a child into any sexual activity, from touching children inappropriately or showing them pornographic pictures to sexual intercourse.
- Neglect is failure to provide the basic necessities of life, including failure to show love and support for the child, or leaving the child alone for long periods of time.
Indirect abuse of children through witnessing violence- Children are hurt and confused by being told "your mother is no good" or that she deserves to be punished. The children may even be told to "come and see what your mother deserves".
- Children who are abused or see others abused in the family learn that "might is right" and that pain and coercion are the way to get what you want. Children are damaged by being exposed to this message at home, at school, or on TV.
- Children are forced into dishonesty by having to keep the family secret of violence and abuse, and suffer shame.
- Children may be used as spies, and interrogated about their mother's behaviour.
- Children may be used as hostages. The abuser may insist that the mother leaves some of the children at home if she goes out so she can't run away. He may tell her that if she leaves him she will never see the children again.
Effects of witnessing and living with violenceEmotional difficulties- General fearfulness, or constant fears of impending danger nightmares
- difficulty dealing with fear, anger and sadness
- feelings of guilt feelings of helplessness
- inability to act for themselves
- anxiety about separation and loss
- quick bonds with unfamiliar adults little ability to feel badly for other people
- no connection to their own feelings
Physical difficulties- Constant stomach-aches, headaches, ulcers, rashes, diarrhea, or bed-wetting
- very high levels of stress
- delays or regression in development
- speech disorders
Social difficulties- Identification with the aggressor; better to be "big and bad" than weak and terrified
- the feeling that it is unsafe, or impossible to act, be or respond like a child
- a hard time solving problems with siblings and other children
- inability to concentrate, which can lead to school failure
- low self-esteem
- mixed feelings toward their parents and a lack of trust in all adults
- withdrawal into books or television
- few friends because of keeping peers at a distance to keep the family "secret"
The younger the child, the greater the threat to healthy development. As the child grows older, years of witnessing domestic violence take their toll. Witnessing violence is stressful. Older children are at risk for such problems as alcohol or drug abuse, physical conflict in their own relationships, anorexia, bulimia, and even suicide. Other at risk behaviour may include involvement with gangs, truancy, or dropping out of school.
Effects related to developmental stage include:INFANTS: Fretful sleep, developmental slowness, lethargy, physical neglect, fearful reaction to a loud voice
TODDLERS: Frequent illness, severe shyness, low self esteem, hitting, biting, trouble in pre-school / day care.
SCHOOL AGE CHILDREN: Frequent illness, hitting, stealing, lying, nightmares, eating problems, repetitive self harm, poor school results, being "too" perfect, drug and / or alcohol abuse. The oldest child often becomes family "caretaker."
Type/Format of Resource: Article
Category/Topic of interest: Woman Abuse; Child Abuse
Population Group: Victims / Survivors
Language of Resource: English
Year of Publication: pre 1995
Contact Information:
Program Manager
Springtide Resources
t- 416-968-3422
f- 416-968-2026
[email protected]
http://www.springtideresources.org
