Resources
Safety Planning
Safety During an Explosive Incident
- If an argument seems unavoidable, try to have it in a room or area that has access to an exit. Avoid the bathroom, kitchen or anywhere near weapons.
- Practice how to get out of your home safely. Identify which doors, windows, elevator, or stairs would be safe and easily accessible.
- Have a packed bag ready. Keep it in a secret but accessible place in order to leave quickly.
- Identify a neighbour you can tell about the violence and ask that they call the police if they hear a disturbance coming from your home.
- Make up a code word to use with your children, family, friends, and neighbours when you need the police.
- Decide and plan for where you will go if you have to leave home (even if you don't think you will need to).
- If the situation is very dangerous, use your own instinct and judgement to keep yourself safe. Call the police as soon as it is safe to do so. You can obtain a restraining order.
Always remember:
You have the right not to be abused in your relationship, either physically, emotionally or sexually!
Safety When Preparing To Leave
- Identify who would let you stay with them or lend you some money.
- Always try to take your children with you or make arrangements to leave them with someone safe.
- Leave money, an extra set of keys, copies of important documents, and extra clothes with someone you trust.
- Open a savings account in your own name to start to establish or increase your independence. Think of other ways in which you can increase your independence.
- Keep the shelter numbers close at hand and keep change or a calling card with you at all times.
- Review your safety plan with a friend or counsellor in order to plan the safest way to leave your batterer.
Always Remember:
The most dangerous time is when you leave
Safety In Your Home
- Inform neighbours and landlord that your partner no longer lives with you and that they should call the police if they see your abuser near your home.
- Rehearse a safety plan with your children for when you are not with them.
- Inform your children's school or day care about who has permission to pick up your children. (Give them a copy of your restraining order.)
- Change/Add locks on your doors and windows as soon as possible. Add a peephole and increase outdoor lighting if possible. Try to borrow a portable or cellular phone.
- Change your telephone number, and make sure it is unlisted. Don't give it to anyone you don't trust.
Safety With A Restraining Order
- Keep your restraining order with you at all times. Leave extra copies at work, with a friend, in your car, etc.
- Call the police if your partner breaks the court order.
- Think of alternative ways to keep safe if the police do not respond right away.
- Inform family, friends and neighbours that you have a restraining order in effect.
- Try to avoid places in the community your batterer may frequent.
Your Safety & Emotional Health
- If you are thinking of returning to a potentially abusive situation, discuss an alternative plan with someone you trust.
- If you have to communicate with your partner, determine the safest way to do so.
- Have positive thoughts about yourself and be assertive with others about your needs.
- Plan to attend a support group to gain support from others and learn about the law and your rights.
- Decide who you can call freely and openly to give you the support you need.
- Read books, articles and poetry to help you feel stronger.
- Collect resources and pamphlets concerning Woman Abuse.
Safety On The Job And In Public
- Decide who at work you will inform of your situation. This should include office or building security (provide a picture of your batterer if possible).
- Arrange to have someone screen your telephone calls if possible.
- Identify a safety plan for when you leave work. Have someone escort you to your car, bus or train. Use a variety of routes to go home if possible. Think about what you would do if something happened while going home.
If You Are A Teen In A Violent Dating Relationship
- If things in your relationship don't feel right to you, talk about it with someone you trust.
- Decide which friend, teacher, or relative, you can go to in an emergency.
- Contact the police to learn how to obtain a restraining order and make a safety plan.
Always Remember:
You should never feel afraid in your relationship. NO MEANS NO!
Checklist-What You Want To Take When You Leave
____ Identification
____Driver's licence, car title and registration
____Children's birth certificates
____Your birth and marriage certificates
____Money
____Restraining Order
____Lease, rental agreement, house deed
____Bank books/Chequebooks
____Insurance papers
____House and car keys
____Medications
____Address books, Pictures
____Medical records for all family members
____Social security card
____Welfare identification
____School records
____Work permits
____Immigration papers, Passport
____Divorce papers
____Jewellery, Children's small toys
____Pets (if you can)
Important Phone Numbers
Police: ________________
Hotline: ________________
Friends: ________________
Shelter: ________________
Resource details:
By: Woman Abuse Council Of Toronto, 590 Jarvis Street, Toronto Ontario M4Y 2J4 (416)-392-5882 Fax: (416)-392-5681 E-Mail: [email protected]
Type/Format of Resource: Article
Category/Topic of interest: Woman Abuse
Population Group: Friends & Family; Victims / Survivors
Language of Resource: English
Year of Publication: 2006
Contact Information:
Program Manager
Springtide Resources
t- 416-968-3422
f- 416-968-2026
tty- 1-866-863-7868
[email protected]
http://www.springtideresources.com
